


If I Lose Myself

by BurningUpASunJustToSayHello



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Chloe finding out the truth, Episode: s01e13-Take Me Back To Hell, F/M, Lots of different types of falling, Wing Scars, Winged!Lucifer, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 10:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6750700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningUpASunJustToSayHello/pseuds/BurningUpASunJustToSayHello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Lucifer's fall from Heaven was a tragedy, then falling for Chloe was a goddamn sin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Lose Myself

“ _ Chloe!”  _

Lucifer barely registered the scream that ripped from his throat as he watched her fall off the edge of the building. His mind went blank with fear, replaying the scene over and over again like a broken record. She'd fallen so gracefully and so painfully slow. He'd seen the way time had froze as her eyes widened the moment her fingertips left the cement.

A pang of agony raced through Lucifer when he realized it was exactly like  _ his _ fall. He remembered traces of flashing eyes and desperate screams. Now Chloe was the one falling.

Every punishment Lucifer was devising for the coma boy rushed to the back of his mind as panic flooded through Lucifer's system, stopping him in his tracks. 

Malcolm stood triumphantly at the lip of the roof. He saw red as the smarmy maggot huffed out a wheezing laugh. He swaggered around like some proud peacock making Lucifer seethe more. Cold rage slithered up Lucifer's veins. Vision blurring, Lucifer raced towards the other detective. Malcolm faded into the background as Chloe's horrified face flashed through his mind. With each footfall, her panicked shout echoed louder in his ears. The pounding of Lucifer’s rubber  soles to pavement beat in time with his heart. Terror overrode all of his systems at the thought of Chloe free-falling alone. 

As the lip of the building rushed up, Lucifer jumped. He jumped the way his Father taught him; as if he still had his wings. It was a jump worthy of his fall. 

Lucifer willed his body into an arc, aiming straight over Malcolm's head. Undernourished muscles screamed as they bent into a long forgotten form. The scars on his back flared up in agony, but Lucifer didn't care. The only thing seared in Lucifer’s mind was Chloe and her mortal form rushing towards the ground. 

The tails of his sport coat flared out behind Lucifer like phantom wings. Lucifer was certain that if he still had them they too would be trembling with anticipation.

Instead just the cool LA air sliced past him as he hurtled after Chloe. It combated with the new-found flame that erupted the moment his feet left the cement. Lucifer fell just as he had eons ago. Just as frantic as the day his Father cast him out of Heaven, Lucifer screamed for the Detective.

Winking against the sickening city lights, Lucifer saw her. Fingers outstretched, jacket billowing out, and terrified; so utterly terrified. She screamed for him just like he'd done for her. 

The sound cut Lucifer's ears like glass. His heart went up in flames like his wings had. It rippled across his diving form until his scars felt like they were being carved out once again. 

Seconds dripped by like honey as he rocketed closer to her. He was so close Lucifer could see the feverish flush of her cheeks stand out against the tan skin like blood in the snow.

“ _ Lucifer, help!”  _ she screamed over the wind.

_ Faster!   _ Lucifer willed as he thrust a hand towards Chloe’s outstretched one. By now they were an arm span away. Lucifer clawed the air for any piece of her he could grab. 

A fingertips grasp away.

Lucifer snagged her wrist.

The fear of losing the Detective destroyed everything around Lucifer. In that moment every detail that made up Chloe was illuminated. Lucifer felt the nervous heat in her veins buzz through her skin. He saw the shards of green and hazel that flecked her wide eyes; the tears that painted her cheeks glistened like starlight. Even with the howling wind, Lucifer could only hear her scream rippling through his ears. 

As they crashed together Chloe's hands tangled into anything she could get her hands on. One hand tangled into his hair and her legs kicked out in blind panic.  Heart stuttering, Lucifer felt her slip. Lucifer fisted his free hand in her leather jacket.

“ _ Don't let go!”  _ he shouted.

The wind ripped at their skin, threatening to strip it off of their bones. Legs tangled together and hands grasped loose clothing as fear thundered through their bodies. Lucifer tugged the Detective into a protective embrace. He felt her bury her head into his shoulder just as Lucifer squeezed her tighter. 

A new wave of pain from his scars brought fresh terror washing through Lucifer's system. There was no safety net to catch them and there were no wings to magically carry them off. Lucifer was going to die. No-- _Chloe_ would die too. _No._ Tonight would _not_ be her time to go. There was no way in _Hell_ she was going to die. He wasn't going to let Father take her from him.

A roar overcame the wind as a bolt of lightning flashed in the clear sky. The strangeness didn't even register as their senses overwhelmed with adrenaline. Lucifer cried out as a pain unlike any other flamed across his scars. It was as if there was something under his skin clawing it's way out. Something was shredding him from the  _ inside out.  _ Another bolt of agony shot through Lucifer and he wrapped around the Detective tighter. The skin on his back felt like it was tearing in two as the burning agony spread. 

Voice already hoarse from before, Lucifer screamed like his vocal chords would snap. He could hear the piercing wail of the Detective's false reassurances getting snapped up in the wind. Her arms around his neck tightened until Lucifer felt like his lungs would implode. He could feel the dark purple bruises blossom across his skin, but it was background noise against the monster clawing out of his back.

Another tremor shook the Earth as Lucifer felt his skin rip. The new form emerging from Lucifer’s skin was like hellfire against the bitter outside air. Blood pattered down on their bodies like rain. Lucifer caught traces of stark scarlet against Chloe's tanned skin. The fire that shot from his body ripped through his Prada, destroying every inch of skin with it. Then Lucifer felt something heavy catch the wind.

No, _ impossible _ . He snapped his head up. 

Feathers. Beautiful, white feathers fanned out against the navy backdrop. Droplets of stray blood speckled the delicate down like badges of honor. His wings were just as he had remembered them. 

With a fuzzy head, Lucifer didn't even hesitate to snap them open. They reacted instantly and a wave of nostalgia racked his frame. Their weight felt foreign as the added joints grinded past his shoulder blades. Despite that, Lucifer embraced the wings like old friends.  

The world stopped racing around them with a jolt. Their heads knocked together and Lucifer saw stars; but not the stars he'd put in the sky. He heard a gasp and glanced to see the Detective’s upturned face staring at his wings. Chloe looked at him with unmasked awe and fear.

“ _ What…!” _

Their steadiness shuddered as his form slipped. Lucifer attempted to stabilize, his technique rusty from disuse. The tender muscles strained against the Detective’s added weight.

“Look I know, but now is not the time!” 

Chloe tore at his jacket, trying to wrap herself around him. Her breath was thin and strained. She was panicking,  Lucifer knew that much. He could practically  _ hear  _ the gears in her head grind to a halt. 

Lucifer allowed them to have a small moment of peace while he began to glide downward. Chloe continued to struggle in his grip. She gaped like a fish.

“ _Lucifer--”_ he cut her off. “I _know,_ Detective.”

A muscle in his back twinged and they wavered. A squeak escaped out of Chloe and her legs wrapped around his waist. Lucifer knew he couldn't keep them aloft for long. With the Detective pressed flush against him, Lucifer huffed out a bitter laugh.

“If mild peril was all it took to get you riled up, I would have pushed you off a building myself!” Demonstrating, he took a test swoop downward. Chloe pressed closer with a shriek. 

“I swear if you drop me, Lucifer, I will  _ murder  _ you!” 

Lucifer couldn’t help but laugh. The giddy sensation of flying paired with the high of the near-death experience felt  _ amazing.  _ He guided them further away from the heart of the city and unconsciously towards a familiar beach. But with each swoop, Lucifer couldn’t help but feel the strain. A heaviness had set in in the corners of his mind, making his train of thought blurry. 

Panting, Lucifer swerved and his steady flight pattern was disturbed. At least the beach was in sight, he thought. Struggling to fight the wave of pain from the screaming muscles, he shook his head. Whatever happened, Lucifer refused to let anything hurt the Detective; the moment on the roof had all but confirmed that. The thought of Chloe dying had never crossed his mind before and with her in his arms now, he never wanted it to again.

Chloe brushed against a group of feathers and Lucifer drew in a sharp breath. The feeling of his feathers against the Detective’s skin shot nervous jolts of energy rocketing through his body. Nobody had touched his wings in such a long time and Lucifer’s body yearned for more. His mind flashed back to the night he let her stroke his scars. Since then, the scars ached around the Detective. They longed to be touched, they longed to be loved. Lucifer swallowed the memories of her gentle fingertips like fine whiskey before returning back to himself. 

When they were roughly a hundred feet away, Lucifer gave in and slowly drew in his wings around them. Sensing his next actions, Chloe wordlessly folded into him once more. Lucifer pressed his wings tighter against them and waited. Just like the first time they’d fallen, the tight knit pair dropped like a stone. They hurtled towards the ground at a nauseating pace; even Lucifer’s strong stomach churned as the salty air rushed past them. The wind seemed to try and rip the pair apart as the beach focused with each second. Lucifer knew with their speed, it wasn’t going to be a soft landing.

“Close your eyes.  _ Now! _ ” he ordered before squeezing his own eyes shut and resting his cheek protectively on the top of the Detective’s head. Lucifer wasn’t about to lose her to a broken neck, not when he’d come this far.  

The sand rushed up quickly. A jolt was their only warning before sand and whiplash clouded their vision. Her knee connected with his stomach and Lucifer groaned. Lucifer took most of the crash as sand flew up around them and ground into his wings. The Detective was thrown into Lucifer, harder this time, as they barrel rolled across the beach, undoubtedly leaving more bruises in their wake. The dizzying effect made the world spin together into a constant blur of navy and white. Lucifer swam in and out of consciousness as his wings bent into shapes he didn’t even know were possible. Tendons tore and joints popped as he struggled to keep his wings around them. 

As they came to a skittering stop, Lucifer’s wings fanned out around them like a rising sun. A tense breath escaped Chloe. As they lay there, there was no pain, just relief.

Lucifer allowed his eyes to flutter shut, surrendering to exhaustion. He could dimly feel Chloe relax against his body. Her form had his limp right wing pinned against the sand, its grains irritating the feathers. At that point in time, Lucifer couldn’t even afford to care.

He listened to the Detective take gulping breaths, forcing herself to relax. Ever the levelheaded one, he thought affectionately. 

The sand was cool against his feverish skin and the salt encrusted air burned his lungs. Lucifer’s head spun, as if the stars were orbiting  _ him  _ instead of the sun. 

Chloe’s weight shifted over top of Lucifer’s wing. 

He forced himself to crack open an eyelid.

Chloe lay in sand, sweaty and disheveled as ever. Lucifer noticed the hem of her thin sweater had torn in their struggle. Her hair was windblown to hell and her mascara had run in great dark treks down her cheeks, but to Lucifer she was still as perfectly beautiful as ever. Even with his blood dotting her face, he concluded. Chloe turned her head towards his.

“I think I believe you now.” she whispered. Her voice sounded like she had been gargling nails and washing it down with sandpaper.

Lucifer grinned and weakly flapped his wings. In a voice as equally as scratchy as hers Lucifer snarked, “I’m so glad we’ve finally got that squared away, Detective.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this prompt has been bouncing around in my head for a few days now and I want to give a big thank you to my beta! I pestered her for like three days to edit this; go follow her on tumblr at go-away-dan! Also if any of you found the Spiderman easter egg: good job! This title comes from the One Republic song by the same name. I thought a song about going down in a plane crash was fitting for this, no? And a big hooray for the cast and crew of Lucifer for getting renewed; I'm super excited for season two! And as always, comment and show your starving writer some love!


End file.
